Person 1: I hate you Bill! You never do any of the things you used to do for me. What about flowers and movie night? All you do is complain about work and then roll over in bed and sleep.
Person 2: Well I’d do more if I felt appreciated around here. I take out the trash and do laundry, besides helping to support this family. And all you do is nag about my football sundays and things that aren’t fixed around the house. Call a repairman. I know my limits Susan!
Person 1: I can’t believe you! I do everything for this family. Cooking, cleaning, helping the kids with school and special projects at the school which you are never there for. And I work to bring in money too. You’re nothing but an ungrateful chauvinist!
Person 2: Well aren’t we bit extreme with the name calling. I’ll show you just how ‘progressive’ I can be…….Where’s the number for the therapist?
The above is a clear case of dysfunction in a domestic partnership. The key issues being, using words like ‘never’, ‘everything’, and ‘all’ as if there is no possibility for middle ground. I begin this piece with this example because I think it is a perfect illustration of what is wrong with this country and what can be done about it.
Between discussions about defense spending, gun control, fiscal cliffs, campaign finance reform and a host of other things it just seems like there are too many problems to contend with and yet the biggest problem I see is the blame game. From politicians to user comments on thousands of articles, either liberals or conservatives are to blame for ALL OUR PROBLEMS. And when I do see middle of road comments, they’re generally cloaked in sadness and misanthropy.
It seems in this country you are with the left, the right, or a nihilist. WTF! seriously! All politicians are not bad. Not every American is a ‘sheeple’, conservatives and liberals can in fact be logical. But maybe this is just too much optimism on my part. I know and have seen people from both sides of the political aisle appear completely indifferent to the arguments from the other side. Psychologically I understand that people often times identify with their opinions and as such when their opinions are challenged, they feel personally attacked when that is not what is happening at all. I understand that people can be rather apathetic about politics in this country. I understand that politicians frequently make decisions to ensure re-election than what is ultimately right for the people. And yet with all of this I still think as a nation and as global citizens we can evolve and progress from these boxes we put ourselves in and the boxes we put our opponents in.
But it starts with self reflection and a little research on an individual basis. Take the time to be find out why you believe what you believe. Take the time to look at the arguments of those you oppose, just to see if a nugget of agreement can be found. Something my mother has said to me through out my entire life is, “It is never just one persons fault, it takes two to tango,” and this ethic can be applied to the leaders of this country. Many have not really worked well with the ‘opposition’ and that’s part of the problem right there. This is not a game, it is not war, this thing called civilization and governance is a team exercise. There are no real opposite sides. There are multiple opinions, but opinions and the steps to get from point A to point B can be negotiated and if our politicians act the way people do in comment sections, failing marriages, and stressful work environments then its no wonder fiscal cliffs loom and national credit ratings decrease when debt ceiling negotiations reach an impasse. These congressional leaders are treating each other as enemies rather than respected colleagues, team mates, family.
If we really can’t seem to move past opposition than we might have to think about separation. When people believe irreconcilable differences have occurred and that to progress at all someone needs to be in power and dominate a situation there IS NOTHING LEFT. Trust has left the building. Tension and resentment remain.
As silly as this may sound I think nation wide, but especially in our capital, mediators/counselors need to be consulted. Not businessmen, not lobbyists, but people whose sole job is to get agreement, squash conflict, and repair damaged relationships. We need to find common ground. Not every liberal believes in socialism. And not every conservative believes in no accountability on wall street. There is common ground in America. We’ve lost sight of it and we simply need some help in finding it.
Global Reflections 